Monday, May 4, 2009

Big bang theory gets laundered


I had just settled into the lounge chair after a long day of visiting friends in Windsor and enjoying a great Ethiopian feast in a downtown hole-in-the-wall. Flipping on the tube and hunting through the channels, I thought the wind-down time to sleepy hollow would be quiet and uneventful.

Wrong again.

The big bang. Was it the cabinet full of kitchen dishes and glassware? How about the shelving in the garage filled with decade-old oil-based paints, wasp spray, mole traps and assorted vegetable fertilizers.

It wasn't a meteor or earthquake. It was the glass globe that covered the light fixture in the laundry room, smashed in a thousand shards on the beige vinyl floor. A cleanable mess but I had to ponder what could have been a nasty whoop upside the head. I had done a weekend full of laundry there. Significant other RA had just used it for a staging area for retrofitting a bunch of phlebotomy training arms (don't ask, don't tell). As they say, at least no one got hurt.

That light fixture had been a fixture on the ceiling for at least 20 years since its installation. I don't even recall ever changing the 60-watt light bulbs it covered. I can't imagine a conspiracy theory -- I really don't think that Jack from "24" or the same gods that deemed a third overtime victory for Anaheim over Detroit were involved. My probable cause theory: Vibrations from washing and drying machines over the years or from the up-and-down cranking of the electric garage door opener caused the set screws too loosen.

The challenge today is finding a 10-inch, mushroom-shaped glass globe--not in stock at hardware havens Aco, Jean's, and Home Depot. Oh, the humanity!

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